Monday, January 10, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
Christmas in Portland
I am so happy that we got to home this Christmas. We didn't get to go last year for financial reasons and I had a really hard time with it. It cost us, but we made it back. And had such a wonderful time, despite a really cranky Grandma.
The highs: A beach trip with my husband, thumb print cookies, watching how happy Aid was with all his cousins, getting to see my friends, long talks with my mom, spending time with my nieces and nephew, playing outside in December, slumber party on our last night!
The lows? My Dad's truck being towed (not my fault), a speeding ticket for driving a whopping 35 MPR (sort of my fault), and having to say good-bye yet again. I think me and Aid are both still a little sad about it.
Here are some of the pictures! (Sorry for the overkill if you're on facebook)
The new kid table!
My brother reincarnated.
My siblings
My Dad and Bob took them swimming twice. They had a blast!
Aid's new thing is to do "crazy eyes" when you take a picture of him. It's pretty funny actually!
Two dates (and an overnight!) in two weeks. That my friends is a record.
Poor Aid....yeah, right. The kid got everything he wanted and then some. But on Christmas Eve he only got to open one present. Don't you feel bad for him?
Aid was in heaven. He had cousins who were completely willing to sit and read his dragon book wit him.
This was our New Years Eve slumber party! Complete with tents!
To say we had a good time is a gross understatement. It was a wonderful holiday and we can't wait to go back. Aid has big plans for Grandpa Mac (hint: it involves the pool).
On a side note, I feel horrible that I don't have pictures of our Bures Christmas. My camera was still in the shop (thank you Grant) so I have not a single picture. But we had a wonderful time on this side too. We are blessed to have so much family who love us.
Merry Christmas!!
The highs: A beach trip with my husband, thumb print cookies, watching how happy Aid was with all his cousins, getting to see my friends, long talks with my mom, spending time with my nieces and nephew, playing outside in December, slumber party on our last night!
The lows? My Dad's truck being towed (not my fault), a speeding ticket for driving a whopping 35 MPR (sort of my fault), and having to say good-bye yet again. I think me and Aid are both still a little sad about it.
Here are some of the pictures! (Sorry for the overkill if you're on facebook)
To say we had a good time is a gross understatement. It was a wonderful holiday and we can't wait to go back. Aid has big plans for Grandpa Mac (hint: it involves the pool).
On a side note, I feel horrible that I don't have pictures of our Bures Christmas. My camera was still in the shop (thank you Grant) so I have not a single picture. But we had a wonderful time on this side too. We are blessed to have so much family who love us.
Merry Christmas!!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Home is Where the Heart Is
We have been constantly torn. Oregon or Minnesota? We have two families whom we love very much and want them to be a part of our regular every day lives. (Well, ok, maybe not every day but you know what I mean!) We have friends in both places who mean the world to us. There is no easy answer. When we lived in Portland we idealized Minnesota and wanted to spend more time here. Now we live here and I find myself longing to be back home. We go around and around and around and there is no answer that feels right. Either way, we end up missing people that we love.
My friend has been going through an awful custody battle. She was with an emotionally and verbally abusive man. There were some physical incidents, but the brunt of the abuse was what he did to her on the inside...where no one could see. She finally found the courage to leave and he made her pay for that decision. Right now they have a horrible visitation schedule set up because she received poor counsel and was desperate to see her little girl who had been ripped away from her. It's been incredibly difficult to watch her and her little girl go through this. She stayed with us for a little over a month because he would not leave the home; so on her days, her daughter would stay here as well. They became a part of our family. We care about them that much.
Very recently she got her home back. He moved out. To say that I am happy for her would be a gross understatement. But tonight I realized how much healing is in front of them because of all of this. Her little girl was afraid to go to her house. She now associates her home with where her father lives. And when she has gone there in the past month, it was to be dropped off and again taken from her mother. I listened to the fear in her voice as I walked them back to their house after dinner at ours, my heart breaking. She cried the entire way and begged her mom not to leave her. When we got to their house I did my best to let her know that things are changing and that this is once again the home she shares with her mother. It can once again be her safe spot in the world.
But I cried all the way home. I cried because this little girl is afraid of what has always been her home. This little girl is constantly afraid of not being able to be with her mother. This little girl doesn't know what is going to happen tomorrow or the next day or the day after that. And her mother can only do so much at this point to make things right for her. I hate him for taking her security away from her; but I know in my heart they will both be ok. I know how strong her mother is and that is what will get her through this.
I walked in and cuddled and read books with my boys. I sang songs long after they had fallen asleep. I tucked them in tightly and kissed them. And I found myself realizing that at the end of the day it doesn't matter where we are. As long as we are together and we all feel safe and supported and loved....we're home.
Whether that is in Oregon or Minnesota...
My friend has been going through an awful custody battle. She was with an emotionally and verbally abusive man. There were some physical incidents, but the brunt of the abuse was what he did to her on the inside...where no one could see. She finally found the courage to leave and he made her pay for that decision. Right now they have a horrible visitation schedule set up because she received poor counsel and was desperate to see her little girl who had been ripped away from her. It's been incredibly difficult to watch her and her little girl go through this. She stayed with us for a little over a month because he would not leave the home; so on her days, her daughter would stay here as well. They became a part of our family. We care about them that much.
Very recently she got her home back. He moved out. To say that I am happy for her would be a gross understatement. But tonight I realized how much healing is in front of them because of all of this. Her little girl was afraid to go to her house. She now associates her home with where her father lives. And when she has gone there in the past month, it was to be dropped off and again taken from her mother. I listened to the fear in her voice as I walked them back to their house after dinner at ours, my heart breaking. She cried the entire way and begged her mom not to leave her. When we got to their house I did my best to let her know that things are changing and that this is once again the home she shares with her mother. It can once again be her safe spot in the world.
But I cried all the way home. I cried because this little girl is afraid of what has always been her home. This little girl is constantly afraid of not being able to be with her mother. This little girl doesn't know what is going to happen tomorrow or the next day or the day after that. And her mother can only do so much at this point to make things right for her. I hate him for taking her security away from her; but I know in my heart they will both be ok. I know how strong her mother is and that is what will get her through this.
I walked in and cuddled and read books with my boys. I sang songs long after they had fallen asleep. I tucked them in tightly and kissed them. And I found myself realizing that at the end of the day it doesn't matter where we are. As long as we are together and we all feel safe and supported and loved....we're home.
Whether that is in Oregon or Minnesota...
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Making Headway
I have been on a mission to teach my boys how to communicate their feelings. They have a father who shuts down and a mother who yells and then cries. So I know it's important for them (and us) to learn how to talk about feelings instead of acting out in our own ways.
Tonight, we celebrated our Christmas with our two neighbors (blog post to follow tomorrow). Aid got a Tom and Jerry movie, and Grant got Go Diego. Aid asked if he could put his in and watch it. Since all of the other kids are so young, I said that I thought Go Diego was a better option and we would watch his tomorrow. He argued with me for a bit and then went and sat in his chair. We put on Go Diego. The little kids weren't really even watching it, which I did notice but thought that Aid had gotten into the show and it didn't matter anymore. But when I walked by him he said "Mom, I am really frustrated because I wanted to watch my movie and you didn't listen to me. So I am sad." (And no I am not exaggerating or adding my own words)
I changed the movie and we talked about what a good job he did expressing himself and that I was sorry I disregarded his feelings.
I am so unbelievably proud of him.
Tonight, we celebrated our Christmas with our two neighbors (blog post to follow tomorrow). Aid got a Tom and Jerry movie, and Grant got Go Diego. Aid asked if he could put his in and watch it. Since all of the other kids are so young, I said that I thought Go Diego was a better option and we would watch his tomorrow. He argued with me for a bit and then went and sat in his chair. We put on Go Diego. The little kids weren't really even watching it, which I did notice but thought that Aid had gotten into the show and it didn't matter anymore. But when I walked by him he said "Mom, I am really frustrated because I wanted to watch my movie and you didn't listen to me. So I am sad." (And no I am not exaggerating or adding my own words)
I changed the movie and we talked about what a good job he did expressing himself and that I was sorry I disregarded his feelings.
I am so unbelievably proud of him.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
She Shoots, She Scores....
My mom hit it out of the ball park with Grant. She sent him a moving train ornament. He has not parted with this thing since he got it. There have been a few wars over it, but Grant always wins. Nothing can come between him and this thing.
To top it off, she sent this rolling backpack. We must now take it everywhere with us. Everywhere. It is stuffed full of the most random things that are important to him. A flashlight, trains,a couple random books, and a couple dinosaurs snuck in. Everything an almost 2 year old may need on his journey to the grocery store.
Thanks for knowing these two so well Mom. I love you.
To top it off, she sent this rolling backpack. We must now take it everywhere with us. Everywhere. It is stuffed full of the most random things that are important to him. A flashlight, trains,a couple random books, and a couple dinosaurs snuck in. Everything an almost 2 year old may need on his journey to the grocery store.
Thanks for knowing these two so well Mom. I love you.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
What Are You Most Thankful For?
1. I am most thankful for my two little boys. They are my entire world and have taught me the true meaning of love.
2. I am thankful for my husband. Even with all of our ups and downs, I know that he loves me and our family and would do anything to keep us all safe.
3. I am thankful for my home. Though, I am missing Oregon, I still walk into this house and feel safe and warm.
4. I am thankful for my kitchen!!!
5. I am thankful for my family. They are far away and I don't get to see them as often as I would like to, but I can feel their love all the way over here.
6. I am thankful for my Bures family. They support us in so many ways...
7. I am thankful that I am healthy. We are all healthy. I am constantly worried that we don't have health insurance and afraid of tragedy. But I must remember to focus on the fact that we are all ok.
8. I am thankful for my mommy group. It has been a hard transition from Oregon to Minnesota more often then not, and I go to a play date and feel surrounded by friendship and support.
9. I am so very thankful for my friends both here in Minnesota and Oregon. I have great friends that love me, support me, tell me the truth, and help me laugh at myself. I don't know what I would do without them.
10. I am thankful that we are all safe and sound and happy. There is a lot of love in this house and for that I am at peace.
2. I am thankful for my husband. Even with all of our ups and downs, I know that he loves me and our family and would do anything to keep us all safe.
3. I am thankful for my home. Though, I am missing Oregon, I still walk into this house and feel safe and warm.
4. I am thankful for my kitchen!!!
5. I am thankful for my family. They are far away and I don't get to see them as often as I would like to, but I can feel their love all the way over here.
6. I am thankful for my Bures family. They support us in so many ways...
7. I am thankful that I am healthy. We are all healthy. I am constantly worried that we don't have health insurance and afraid of tragedy. But I must remember to focus on the fact that we are all ok.
8. I am thankful for my mommy group. It has been a hard transition from Oregon to Minnesota more often then not, and I go to a play date and feel surrounded by friendship and support.
9. I am so very thankful for my friends both here in Minnesota and Oregon. I have great friends that love me, support me, tell me the truth, and help me laugh at myself. I don't know what I would do without them.
10. I am thankful that we are all safe and sound and happy. There is a lot of love in this house and for that I am at peace.
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