Fear

I have always said that I am going to be the mom who keeps it real with their kids. I don't want to make false promises that I don't really have any control over.  I will not lie to my kids because I want them to have a centered outlook on life. Blah, blah, blah.

Aid has gotten to a stage where he is really starting to think through things, and thus becoming more afraid of things. Some of them rational, some of them irrational. Am I giving him the centered parent talks I have prepared for? Well, I tried. Then I bagged it.

The first moment came when we were swimming at the beach (a term I use lightly). We have been teaching him how to swim. Mid swim, Aid frantically clings to me and says, "Mama! Don't let me fall into a shark's mouth!!" "Aid, " I say calm and collected. "There are not sharks in lakes." I proceed to talk about how the lake is too small, and sharks are only in the ocean. Or the zoo. But not in lakes. I'm going on and on and Aid again screams, "But don't let me fall into his mouth!"

"Ok! I promise I will never ever let you fall into a shark's mouth." ( I am fairly sure I will not have to renege on this promise)

The second moment came while we were riding bikes this morning. I have been working with Aid on breaking. He had a somewhat tragic fall from his bike when he first got it (on Dad's watch I might add) and has refused to ride down any hill since). I have finally convinced him to get back on and not only how to break, but when to break. (which is really the key for him because he panics.) So we are riding along and before we get to the dreaded hill Aid asks, "Mama, will you never ever let me fall off?" (Well, here we go...) So I proceed to go into some long diatribe about how sometimes you will fall off your bike, but you probably won't get seriously hurt which is why we got you a helmet (that you aren't wearing) but also that you have to pick yourself up and get back on the bike.  Finally! I am able to gently tell my kid that life is hard sometimes. He will be realistic, prepared, and....I looked at him. His little eyes were big with fright and he stopped riding. "But mama," he says with his lower lip trembling, "Will you not let me fall?"

"No, Aid. I will not let you fall."
"Ever?"

I teared up realizing that my little man just needed my reassurance. There's a lot of time ahead of us to talk about the reality of life. But it was also a moment realizing that there will be a time (many times probably) where Aid falls in life. And it will be out of my control. I will only be able to hand him back his helmet and tell him to get back on.  But not today.

So I answered. "Ever Aid."