Am I A Grown Up Now?

This is a little sad to say out loud.  But this is the very first Christmas I have been solely responsible for.

Huh. Let that sit for a minute.

Let me back track.  We both come from families with some pretty solid traditions.  Our mothers are both very territorial creatures.  I don't say this with judgement.  I can see how we mother's hold onto what is ours and struggle with letting that go. We usually go to Portland for Christmas and we have the Bures Christmas a week before.  So we always bring whatever presents we have to each side's of the holiday.

But this year we aren't going to Portland for Christmas.  And we already had the Bures Christmas.  So this year it is our responsibility to make sure Santa gets here and the boys have the great Christmas morning they have grown accustomed too.  There is a bit of pressure here.  I have also grown accustomed to my parent's Christmas.  And they can go a bit overboard at Christmas time.  So I really have to fight against not just buying every single thing they point out to me.  A) I can't afford it.  But B) I don't want them to get every single thing they have asked for.  The big ones, sure.  The ones I have heard about over and over and over again. (This year it was the Nintendo DSL. THANK YOU MOM!) But that's not how life works. You don't get everything you want.  So when I first look at the tree I panic thinking I haven't gotten enough. 

Truthfully I still got a lot of help.  My mom sent quite a few boxes to the house. Enough I felt like I needed to tip our mail man on top of the gift card I got him.  But tomorrow morning will be just us.  Just our little family.  Will it feel quiet?  Sure.  Do we all love hanging with whatever set of cousins we are with? Absolutely. Do I miss my sister? Duh.  But I'm also excited to start a new tradition.  I like the idea of spending Christmas morning with just us.  These three people are the people I love most in this world.

And Christmas isn't about the gifts that are around the tree, it's about the loved ones around your tree.  (As long as the loved ones don't touch our tree because it was dead on arrival and if you blow too hard on it, it disintegrates. )

Merry Christmas ya'll. I hope you are surrounded by the people you love most in this world.