Preschool Dropout

It's official. We jumped the gun and Aid was not as ready as I thought. I think it was a total fluke that our first day went so well.

Ever since it has been a rough transition on all of us. The last two attempts I have not even been able to get him out of the car, let alone into the classroom. We have technically made it to school, where we sit for about 20 minutes in the parking lot with a sobbing/pleading Aid and a super anxious guilt ridden me.

I have started noticing other things too. Aid has not been willing to leave my side, even for a moment. He is clingy to the point of exasperation. He is whiny. Super super whiny. I have been hiding from him in other rooms just to get away. And I found myself in the middle of multiple power struggles, yelling, "I am the mom!"

I called my friend Emilie on our latest parking lot session and asked for advice. I tried to negotiate with Aid. Then I called my mom. Then I asked Aid... "Are you mad at me?" The answer? "yes!" "Aidee NO LIKE BIG SCHOOL!!!" "Ok.....I give. You aren't ready. No more big school ok?"

He has been back to his normal self ever since. Well, almost. We went to a play date this morning and he lost his mind. He was freaking out. I could not make him believe we were not going to school. It took him a little while to warm up but at some point I saw him sprint by and realized he was once again my happy and secure little boy.

He wasn't ready. End of story. I'm ready for him to be ready. But he's not ready and it isn't about me. Even though me and Grant hated ECFE, Aid LOVED it. I misread that for him being ready for something more instead of letting him just enjoy the phase he was in. It was a really positive step for him that he looked forward to. So why would I take that away and push something on him that he obviously is struggling with so much? As my mom said, "He's 3!" He doesn't HAVE to do this right now.

So we aren't doing it right now. He'll be ready when he's ready.


I love you Aid. I want you to know that while I am willing to take on any ridiculous power struggle you throw at me, I also respect you and your feelings. You can always talk to me about what you are feeling and I will do my absolute best to support you and come to a compromise we can both live with.

Traditions

I have watched Charlie Brown's, "It's the Great Pumpkin" for as long as I can
remember. The best part of the holidays are the traditional shows that play. Every year.

This year, we let Aid stay up to watch it with us. Now he is a Bures, so his little eyes were barely open by the end of the show. But it was still just as fun watching it with my little one as it was being the little one who got to stay up to watch it with my parents.

It brings back such warm memories for me. And I hope to be able to create memories and traditions that Aid and Grant will some day pass on as well.

I tried to explain to Aid that we were going to watch the Charlie Brown Great Pumpkin show as a tradition.

"Dolphin?"

"No, tradition. It means when you do something over and over again because it makes you happy." (Attempt to put it into 3 year old language.)

"Oh, yes mama. Aidee will watch the dolphin."

"Oh good grief you blockhead!!"

Three is the New Two

I was complaining to my mother (while Aid was still 2) about something that he was doing that was ridiculous. She said, "Just wait until 3. 3 is way worse. I don't know why they call them the terrible two's...." Thanks mom, I thought.

Wow. Was she ever right. If we all make it through the age of three in one piece it will be amazing. I spent the entire day today getting yelled at. I used every form of discipline I could think of and at some point put myself into time out so as not to do any serious bodily harm to the evil little thing.

There was crying. Slamming of doors. Pushing our brother. Hitting our mother (gasp!!!!) Terrorizing poor Leo. You name it, it happened.

Three is going to be a very long year I think.

School Day Jitters

Monday was Aid's first day of preschool. I forgot my camera. He was happy and excited and when I left he gave me a hug and said "See you later mom!" Great. Somehow I figured for once in his 3 years Aid was gonna give me this one. He was going to just be ok with this new transition.

I was wrong. Today was his second day. And while the pictures will showcase a happy and excited 3 year old trotting into school I did not leave with a "See you later." In fact he clung to me sobbing saying, "I don't want to see you later Mom. Please!"

The good news. I did not lose it in front of him. The bad? I cried like a baby all the way home feeling like I had abandoned my son. My three years of attachment parenting out in the window in one stroke. What kind of mother was I? Did I misread him and maybe he wasn't as ready as I thought he was? Was this like potty training where it's supposed to stay a positive experience and if they are wailing they aren't ready? I grappled with these thoughts the whole way home.

Then I made Bob call the school to check on him. He was in the ball pit. He had another great day. He was all smiles, gave his teachers high fives, and talked about how his teachers let him play with (wait for it) DINOSAURS.

This whole letting go thing is a tough one for me. It is a tough one for my mother as well. I somehow thought that I was going to be tougher. Ha. What I realized today is that there are going to be many times in his little life where what I know is good for him will conflict with my instinct to hold him close. I will do everything that I can to encourage him, support him, and love him while he is at home. And then I will send him off into the universe (in this case the universe is a little preschool) and pray that they will take good care of my baby.






These were not from today but I thought I'd show you how fun this place looks!





And this is the face I see each time I have picked him up so far. As long as I keep seeing this face, I will know that I'm doing the right thing for Aid...

Another Bures Gene

We went on a walk to the park tonight. Aid insisted on riding his trike. After repeatedly reminding him that if he rode it he would need to ride it allthe way there and all the way back. He was adamant.

Going on a walk with a 3 year old and a trike is to know that it will take you at least twice as long as you were initially planning. It is not for the faint of heart. What I was reminded of again on our walk is how much like Bob (and his father) Aid is behind the wheel. If you have ever been in the car with Frank Sr., Bob, or his younger brother Joe you know what I am talking about. Everything is a distraction. Everything. They fiddle with things, they look all around, and they happily putter along.

Aid stopped to look at the leaf, he looked up at the trees while he drove into someone's front yard, and he happily puttered around taking in the scenery. He had a great time. But as I tried to keep the frustration out of my voice as he veered off the road for the umpteenth time, I found myself laughing.

"Well, all be damned, I'm in the car with a Bures!!!"

Some Things Never Change

I remember when we were little and living in California sneaking into the kitchen to get to the cookie jar while my parents were in the living room watching tv. We were supposed to be in bed. Me and my brother would put on our super soft knitted slippers from my grandmother. We found after several attempts that they slid much better. We would both try to slide across the kitchen floor and grab a couple of cookies...without being heard. My brother was the best at this. He had the perfect slide and was quick on the cookie draw. Sure we got busted a few times, but the fun came from the excitement of the sneak. If we made it without being caught we would sit together in the hallway and eat the prized cookies.

Me and Bob were laying in bed watching a movie after putting the boys to bed...or so we thought. I am not sure how long he was sitting there, but I looked over to find Aid sitting in the dark hallway reading his book! I pointed it out to Bob who said, "I thought I heard him." I said, "Aid get back to bed," and heard the scamper of his little feet.

I just went to check in on them and he had in fact gone back to bed and was holding onto his book. It brought me back to the memory of me and my brother and the cookie jar and I had to chuckle. I wondered how long he was in the hallway before we noticed him. And if he was as pleased with himself as I was when I slid across my kitchen floor in my slippers.

Some things just never change.

L.O.V.E

Really?

We had snow today! I am still in shock. It's not even Halloween! And while my children were appropriately dressed and prepared for it, I was in a sweatshirt and tennies.

What else to do on a snow day?


Get decked out in snow gear...


Spend the last of mommy's birthday money and force the kid to sit in the damn thing he HAD to have...


Fake it till you make it little man.


Well, at least someone enjoyed it!


I'm gonna have to get this kid some snow pants. Nothing can get in the way of his animals and trees! NOTHING.


What better way to end the day then a nice warm bath with your brother?!

A Cruel Joke

Teething: The first lesson that life just isn't fair.

Proof There is a Little of Me in Aid

Nothin better then sitting on the front steps on a brisk fall evening with a magazine!

"It's Just Me."

Aid has a new trick.

When he gets into trouble, he goes on a time out. Or if that doesn't work he gets a time out in his room. If that doesn't work, his beloved animals (or specific toy that's related the the crime) goes on a time out.

After said time outs we then talk about why he was put on a time out. He is usually spot on with why he has gotten into trouble. If it involves our brother or anyone else it's my expectation that he go and personally apologize to that person.

He has added his own twist to this routine. We go through the ritual, but now he adds, "It's ok mama, it's just Aiden."

"Sorry, the Aidee took toy away from Grant. I love you. It's ok, it's just Aiden."

"Sorry for not listening to you mama. It's ok. It's just Aiden."

I can't figure out where this came from, and though I am trying hard not to let him see this, it's very effective. And funny.

"It's just Aiden."

Since the Grandparents Aren't on Facebook

Hilarious right? This might just be worthy of my picture wall...

Movement Would Be Good

Grant needs to move. He is so very frustrated that he can't. He now sits on the floor, looks straight at you and yells. Yells yells. He may has well be saying, "Help me get across this f-ing floor!"

My mom suggested a walker. The thought of helping Grant move around a little bit trumped any back of my head voice saying don't spend $40 on something he will only use for a little bit. The next day he spent the entire waking hours yelling. I went out that evening and picked one up.

His little toes barely touch the ground. And while he liked it (and the tray! He loves having a toy he can play in and eat at the same time) he didn't understand how he could move it. Tonight he figured it out. He took his first few steps toward a cheering mom and dad.

So proud of you little man. And so hoping that you move soon so you will stop yelling at me.