School Day Jitters

Monday was Aid's first day of preschool. I forgot my camera. He was happy and excited and when I left he gave me a hug and said "See you later mom!" Great. Somehow I figured for once in his 3 years Aid was gonna give me this one. He was going to just be ok with this new transition.

I was wrong. Today was his second day. And while the pictures will showcase a happy and excited 3 year old trotting into school I did not leave with a "See you later." In fact he clung to me sobbing saying, "I don't want to see you later Mom. Please!"

The good news. I did not lose it in front of him. The bad? I cried like a baby all the way home feeling like I had abandoned my son. My three years of attachment parenting out in the window in one stroke. What kind of mother was I? Did I misread him and maybe he wasn't as ready as I thought he was? Was this like potty training where it's supposed to stay a positive experience and if they are wailing they aren't ready? I grappled with these thoughts the whole way home.

Then I made Bob call the school to check on him. He was in the ball pit. He had another great day. He was all smiles, gave his teachers high fives, and talked about how his teachers let him play with (wait for it) DINOSAURS.

This whole letting go thing is a tough one for me. It is a tough one for my mother as well. I somehow thought that I was going to be tougher. Ha. What I realized today is that there are going to be many times in his little life where what I know is good for him will conflict with my instinct to hold him close. I will do everything that I can to encourage him, support him, and love him while he is at home. And then I will send him off into the universe (in this case the universe is a little preschool) and pray that they will take good care of my baby.






These were not from today but I thought I'd show you how fun this place looks!





And this is the face I see each time I have picked him up so far. As long as I keep seeing this face, I will know that I'm doing the right thing for Aid...