Safety Net

Me and Bob have said from the word go that we wanted to create open relationships with our kids. We want them to tell us what is going on in their world. We want them to trust us enough to know that we will can handle whatever it is they need help with. That means we can't just freak out. We can't just punish. We have to listen.

A few days ago was a first testing moment for all of us. Aid came to us with something. I am not going to go into details. It isn't the point of this post. But he came to us. We freaked out a little at first and he shut down. But then we gave him a little bit of space and let him come back to us. And he did. What followed was a really good talk.

But what came of it? I realized that even though I obviously dread Aid (or Grant)having to face any difficult situations, that he trusts us enough to tell us. I recognize that he felt safe enough to tell us something difficult and confusing to him. I have to do everything I can to continue to facilitate that openness. All I want is for my children to know they can come to me. I think a lot of parents say those words. And they mean them. But when the time comes to act, they do the parent thing: They worry out loud, they push, they nag, they punish, they over react. I know that I will as well. But this time I didn't. We didn't. And we did not just say, "You can come to us with anything." We showed him that he really can.

My chest tightens thinking of all the things that could or could not happen to both of them in the future. More then anything you just want your children to be safe and happy and loved. But you don't always have control over those things. No matter what happens to them in the world, I want them to walk through the door and know this is their safe place.

And that we are their safety net.

Take The Wheel

 

 

Aid announced during dinner today that he was ready to ditch the training wheels. So off they came. Grant has been practicing riding his bike on his own too but has not seemed to be able to get a hold of the whole steering process. Then today he just did.

I'm a teary eyed proud mama tonight.

Last Days

I can't believe Friday was Aid's last day of preschool for this year. It's already been a year. He has grown so much in a year.

At the start of the year he was in size 4 Toddler jeans. He was excited, but nervous. He hated to spell. He hated writing. He wanted nothing to do with any of it. He still ran up to kids on the playground and roared at them to indicate he wanted to play chase. He had one best friend (who isn't a relative and who moved away) and was nervous about who would play with him. He was obsessed with dinosaurs and one of the first questions he asked his teacher was whether or not they had any. They had a small collection, so we donated some....

This was him Friday.

He is now is size 5/6 (not Toddler!) wears "big kid" shoes, LOVES all things learning, still loves his dinosaurs, only starts growling once the game of chase has begun, has 2 best friends (Sam and Bradley) and is confident and happy.

We have decided to send Aiden to one more year of preschool. I won't go into all of the reasons now. If you know, then we wanted you to know. But it's the right decision. Not necessarily the easiest. He and his best friend Bradley have the exact same birthday so Aid continues to question if he is also turning 5 why he isn't going to Kindergarten. I have resorted to saying "you have to trust that I am making the best decisions I can make for you." No other answer is adequate. He will go to the same school. They granted us an insanely generous scholarship and he loves it there.  I have seen so much growth. And they very obviously care for him and he feels safe and cared for and that's really all I can ask for.

I love you Aid. And I am so unbelievably proud of you. You are a sweet, funny, kind hearted, stubborn, quirky little kid. And I love every last inch of you. I will always do what I think is best for you. Always.