Marriage

Bob bought a Vote No on the Minnesota Marriage Amendment for our yard.

While we are both extremely vocal about where we stand on issues we have never before put a sign in our front yard declaring to everyone where we stand.  We see this issue as that important.  This is not a gray issue.  This is not an issue that feels like there is another side.  I mean, of course there is technically another side.  But this issue speaks to civil liberties.  It is a divisive issue.  And it should be.  Most other issues I can see both sides.  I really can.  I know where I stand on it, but I can clearly see the other side.  Not this one.  Because contrary to belief, Westernized America does not have patent on marriage.  Nor do it's churches.  Different cultures all across the world have different beliefs and practices surrounding marriage.  And that is the point.  It is not just one way.  It is not just between a man and a woman.  It can be between a man and several women in some cultures.  It can be an arranged union of children in some cultures.  In some marriages, women are seen as property.  And it certainly has advanced beyond the point of 'for the purpose of procreation', because with science there are ways for people who want babies to have babies if the old fashioned way just doesn't work.  So why in this country are we fighting over whether gay and lesbian couples have the right to marry?  Why wouldn't they?  They are people.  They love.  They commit.  They want families.  Why shouldn't they be able to?  Some people's response is that because it will ruin the institution of marriage.  Well, don't get me started on how heterosexual couples are doing that just fine all on their own.  But explain to me HOW.  How does it affect anyone else's marriage?  How other countries and cultures view marriage doesn't change the inside of mine.  And someone else's marriage shouldn't change the inside of yours.
 
I explained all of this to Aiden and Grant.  From an age appropriate level, of course.  But they are now very proud that we have that sign in our yard.  The conversation continued during dinner.  Bob asked Aid, " So mom said she explained to you what the sign means." "Yes," he says, "Everyone should be able to get married if they love each other. That's right!"

Bob: "Do you want to get married Aid?"

Aid:  "Oh no. Not me.  I don't want to get married.  I want to be a rock star."

Bob:  "Rock stars get married."

Mom:  "Not for very long usually."

(Just saying.)

On the eve of our 8th wedding anniversary this post is especially important to me.  8 years ago I married my best friend.  We have been through some high highs and the lowest of lows.  I did not realize when I committed to this man 8 years ago all that I was committing to.  I had no idea how hard it was to not just keep a marriage together, but to keep it strong.  We still have our moments.  We still have our struggles.  But we have built something that no one else can threaten or take down.  Only we can do that.  It has been incredibly tough and incredibly beautiful to build a life with someone. 

I love you Bob. I love our family.  And I will always fight for it.  And I will fight for others to be able to have the same opportunity to have what we have.