To The Moon and Back

My sister's friend from high school posted a blog on her facebook page this morning.  This family has lost not just one, but two children within a year and a half.  One from a strep infection that turned sepsis and one from SIDS.  I cannot imagine. I am not sure that I would be able to get back up from that.  They have two surviving boys and a deep faith in God that seem to be pulling them through.  But I am amazed.

And humbled.

So often we grumble our way through life.  The boys won't give me space.  They are fighting with one another to the point I want to scream.  They are arguing with me at every turn.  And as I read their blog perspective kicks in and I am once again reminded how very blessed I am to have these two little people and all the frustrating moments I have with them.  Once again I am reminded how short and brutal life can be and I need to hold on to what I have while I have it.

Grant came upstairs while I was reading the blog.  "What's wrong mama?"

"Nothing baby, just reading something very sad that makes mommy want to hug you. Do you know how much I love you?"

"Uh....no mama."

"I love you to the moon and back my baby."

Silence.

"You want me to go to the moon mama? I don't want to go to the moon in a rocket ship!!"

"No, no moon for you."

"Ok mama. I love you too."

 Blessed.

Dinosaurs, Dinosuars, and MORE Dinosaurs

We road tripped it to and from Oregon this year.  In some ways it was much more fun then flying (I never once thought I was going to die), in some ways it was harder (hearing,  "I need to pee" after 15 minutes after the last pee on hour 25 was brutal) and not really all that much difference price wise.  But we did it and we made some great memories.  Our favorites were the dinosaur museums! Who knew there were such a plethora of them!

This was our first leg out! The novelty had not worn off just yet!!!

He sat and talkec with these two for close to 45 minutes. Mutual dinosaur lovers. It was adorable.

On the way back we hit up Vernal, UT.  Which was gorgeous.  I tried to convince Bob to move there. Smack dab in the middle. A road trip both ways, GORGEOUS geography, camping (with NO mosquitos!) and dinosaur museums! He didn't technically tell me no....;)

Our dino pose. Aid is a raptor of some sort. You can tell by his three claws!

I love these two. Especially when they are in "I love my brother" mode.

Holding  a fossil is serious business.

Wall of fossils

Grant was a little nervous with this one!

Happy happy boy

Then we saw the Dinosaur National Monument.  It's breathtaking. It's an entire rock wall of real fossils.  Like they found so many they just didn't even both to dig them out, they just built a building around it. It's amazing.  And you could touch them.  Epic.

DUDE. Told you. Awesome.

It was a great trip. Great. Aid was super excited and I believe thought the entire trip was geared toward him.  Ok, it was.  Grant loves dinos too; but it remains to be seen if it's going to be his thing.  Right now his things are whatever his brother is doing.  So when he has a thing we will gear an entire trip around it!!

Today is Stella's last day.

It has been quite the journey with this little thing.  We have had ups, we have had downs, we have had fantastic days and trying days.  Essentially 3 days a week Stella became an honorary member of our family.  And in our family it's for better or worse.

We started here.  



Discovered how much we loved the outdoors!

Did some serious tummy time!

Found our inner Lord of the Flies self...

The swing wasn't necessarily a long lived activity, but we have a few minutes of bliss!

We ran into some of this along the way...

Water baby!

Stella also realized the awesomeness of Dinosaurs! ROAR!!!

Just one of the gang.

We love you Stell and will miss you!

The Summer of Aid

Aid has had his eye on the big slide at the Y since the moment we walked through the doors over 2 years ago.  Of course he was super under the height requirement.  Last year, he spent the whole year measuring himself and practicing going under water in preparation.

This summer is Aid's summer.  The very first thing we did upon changing back to the Y was to go swimming.  And the first thing Aid did is run up to measure himself.  He was just under. Just.  He nervously asked the lifeguard what the test was to be able to go down the slide.  He had to float on his stomach and his back for 5 seconds.  This does not sound terribly hard, but we spent at least an hour practicing and timing him before he asked to take the test.

I went with him. (He had to do it in the deep pool.) I was probably more nervous then he was and reminded him to count to five in his head before coming up. Then I held my breath.  He completely made the stomach float, but struggled a bit more with the back float.  He probably made 4 seconds if we're being brutally honest, but I think the lifeguard had been watching him practice and saw how much he wanted it..and that he clearly wasn't going to drown.

The lifeguard gave him the wristband.  He is officially able to go down that slide.  There has been one other lifeguard who doesn't think he is tall enough but the lifeguard who passed him has his back. (If you are not tall enough the test is that you have to float on your stomach and your back for ten seconds and then tread water for 30. WTF? For a half an inch?) 

I was sure that my first born was going to be nervous once he got to the top.  He always is.  So we swam over to the slide so I could show him (and the cranky lifeguard) that he could touch just in case he panicked on the way down.  We talked about how it can feel super high but it's like any other slide and he should be brave, etc.  This was all unnecessary. 

He sprinted to the top giving victory waves and thumbs up as he went.  I caught the look on his face as he sat down on the slide.  He was beaming with pride.

So was I.

Great job Aid! You set a goal and worked toward it and you earned it! I am so proud of you!!!!

Home is Where the Heart Is

Almost 5 years ago we moved from Oregon to Minnesota.  At the time I needed a drastic change.  There were some serious family dynamics that I felt like I couldn't handle anymore and was afraid of having my children have to handle.  It was a reactive move.  And while Minnesota has brought us so many good things, I find myself longing to go home. 

Bob's family is here and for that reason alone where ever we live, we miss people.  (There are no plans to move back at this point so no one freak out.)  But my nephew has just been born and I so badly want to be there to celebrate with my family.  I love him already and want to hold him.  I want to babysit him for my sister so they can go on a date.  I want to spoil him and my niece rotten.  I'm missing so much and it's only getting harder for me.

Boys, I know some day the time will come where you just have to leave.  You will feel suffocated and upset about some family dynamic.  You will want your own adventure and your own space.  And I will support you.  But I will always hope that you find your way back home.  Either that, or we will move to where you are (be warned).

Distance has definitely provided me with some much needed perspective.

What Goes Around Comes Around

Our friends, The Knox's recently gave Aiden an entire bucket of Bakugans. What are bakugans you ask? They are transformery type things.  Just something that Aid can collect, although he does play with them frequently.  Their children have lost interest in them and donated them to Aid instead of selling them in their garage sale.  It was incredibly generous and Aid was over the moon about it.
He has carried these things with him everywhere. He sleeps with them for crying out loud.

But something else came of this great gesture.  Their giving to Aid seems to have really prompted Aid's own desire to share and give to others.  He selected 3 different ones to give to his best friend at school.  Then he gave our neighbor friend, Evan, one.  This. is. huge.  Aid has trouble parting with anything, particularly something he sees as his.

Then he asked me what their kids liked.  I told him that I believed they like legos.  "MOM!  Why don't we give them our legos? We don't play with them at all! They would love them!"

Sure enough, they are equally happy to have the legos and we are super excited about the Bakugans.  Aid learned a lesson that I have been trying to teach him and get him to participate in for quite awhile.  I am so happy that we have such great friends.  But I'm even happier that we have the type of friends that can teach my children the value of giving and sharing.

The Curse of a Mother

I'm free!!!!

Wait. I'm free....

What is it about being a mother that makes you long for some alone time, but almost the moment you get it you want your babies to just come back?

I have today and tonight to myself.  I told myself I was not going to clean, but I can't relax as well if I don't.  Grant helped me out by peeing absolutely everywhere in the bathroom...although his diaper was completely dry so still a step in the right direction I suppose.

I let Aid watch dinosaurs on the computer all morning and was rewarded with, "you are the best most prettiful mom ever."

Bob seems happy and excited to get full on boy time at the lake. A guitar, a frisbee, and a soccer ball were packed.  I packed everything else I thought they would need.

As I stood there giving good bye kisses and waving and yelling good-bye until they were out of sights, tears bubbled up.

"Good grief," I thought. "It has got to be the ultimate curse of motherhood that your job is to prepare them to be independent, adventurous, self sufficient people in the world when all you want to do is hold them as tightly as you can for as long as you possibly can."

Happy Mother's day weekend to every mother who knows exactly what I'm talking about. Including my own....