Mommy Groups

My involvement in mommy groups have been a blessing and a curse. I joined one shortly after we moved here because as convenient as it was to have a rec center with a little playground 3 blocks from our house no one ever went to it and I was starting to get lonely. I found myself desperately waiting for Bob to get home to save me from my loneliness. And well, we all know Bob....(kidding honey...kind of). I had to take my own needs into my own hands.

So I joined. And it was terrible. I am not great at meeting new people. Really. I get so nervous I start sweating and can't think of a single thing to ask. Then I am so caught up in being nervous I'm not really listening to what the person talking is even saying. It's horrible and I'm working on it. A glass of wine usually helps but since no one had wine at our 9am play dates I was screwed. And I had a hard time fitting in. But I kept going and as you know I made some wonderful girlfriends out of the whole deal.

Yesterday I quit. There is one mommy who has made it as difficult for me to be a part of this group as she possibly could. I'm not entirely sure what I did that incited this level of passion; but she has made it her mission to tell me what a jerk I am, publicly and privately on a semi-regular basis. At some point I became the organizer believing this would help me get to know other moms and be a good focus. I was wrong. From the word go I seemed to do everything wrong and break every mommy group etiquette rule there was. Some I was aware I had done and some I was not. Needless to say this mommy was the ring leader in basically badgering me until I finally quit.

My feelings were hurt (are hurt?) for a long time. I stayed a part of the group believing that time would help me work through the negative feelings I was having. And talking. If I just talked through it I would be able to let it go. (This is where you insert the joke and sad reality that letting go is not a strength of mine. I am not malicious or vindictive...but I do not forget). Said mommy has now become the new organizer....and I just had to let go. Really let go. I was driving myself slowly crazy. I read too much into every little thing said, I wanted my friends to dislike her as much as I did, and I avoided activities that I wanted to go to because she was going. Enough was enough.

It feels so good. I look at my blog list and realize how many good friends I have. I don't need the mommy group the way that I did when we first came. And what am I teaching Aid and Grant...? To remain a part of something that is really hurting me? I am going to teach them what remains to be my biggest struggle in life....just let it go. Let it go and appreciate what you have and what you did get out of an experience. Holding onto hurt and anger just makes you hurt and angry. If you focus so much on the painful things that have happened to you, you will miss the good that is still going on...

But let's just say I will not be on the PTA.